The Genetic Verses

by equals the RAVEN

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about

I made the "Organism" album in 2000 under the nom de plume equals the RAVEN. It was the only album I made as a young man, prior to coming out as a transgender woman. It has been hard to go through some of these tracks. Since most of the source files are either non-existent or corrupt, I am unable to remaster them. Also, I had gotten a little sample-happy... after all, it was my *first* album... so much of what I created will never see the light of day, at least on Bandcamp or any site where you have to purchase tracks.

The timing of the release was a difficult time in my life. While I knew I was a girl very early in childhood, my excuse for not transitioning before was that I hoped meeting my biological father would convince me that I was *actually* a guy and wouldn't need to transition. Not only did that *not* happen, but the gender dysphoria was exacerbated by the presence of my half-sisters. There was no real choice in transitioning; there was only to choose life and exist as my authentic self, or to choose death and try to stay a man and in my blood families' good graces.

Some of the struggles are reflected in these songs: most notably the downtempo "Invisible" where I proclaim "I'm the invisible man" and the entirety of the lyrics on "Sisters," which is probably one of the best songs I've written in my life, to be honest with you. See the track information for "Sisters" for the story behind that song.

The remixes were my attempt at coping with the repercussions of my coming out in the years after. I *lived* in these songs for years. I clung to them like a life vest because to me they represented such a difficult time in my life. They were my creative spring board as I began the journey to find my own place in the world, and what type of person I would eventually become.

Additionally, since the =tR album was called "Organism," I've always told myself that if I release an EP linked to it, that I would refer to it as "The Genetic Verses." Because DNA... Organism... Genetic... then a reference to "The Satanic Verses" book... eh, it's a bad pun, to be sure! If anyone laughs about it, it'll give me a chuckle!

credits

released July 16, 2017

Everything by Katie Benoit performing as Jynx 23. All songs written by and credited to Benoit/Roberts. Vocals on "You're Wrong," "Invisible," and "Sisters" credited to Jynx 23.

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license

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about

Katie Benoit St. Louis, Missouri

Inspired by musicians as diverse as Cat Stevens, The Art of Noise, Nobuo Uematsu, Big Audio Dynamite, Imogen Heap and Steve Reich, I create music in different styles & categories. I create these for myself & change styles coz I have a short attention span and get bored easily, but I hope you like them. I've done music in the past as equals the RAVEN, Katie Turner, DJ Jynx, Starbelle and DJ K8T, ... more

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Contact Katie Benoit

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Track Name: You're Wrong [2008 Remaster]
When I felt your arms around me,
a chill went down my spine.
I hoped so much you wouldn't stay here with me.
Leave the past far behind.

Yet you manipulate and complicate
every facet of my life.
I cannot comprehend these feelings you send
that glimmer like a sharpened knife.

Chorus:
Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.


When I heard your words surround me,
I wanted to believe you.
You twist my words and reasons for
your own peace of mind.
You only hear what you want to

You must be as dense as a cold brick wall.
I just can't get away from you.

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?


There is a place I know so well,
a darkened corner no one knows.
Light my incense and crawl into bed.
Most days that's how it goes.

I can't sleep. I can't eat.
You are stuck inside my mind.
The phone rings. My brain sings.
Why can't I just be blind?

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?

Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.
Track Name: Home [Original Model]
You know you can never go home.
Track Name: Invisible [Edit]
(I'm the invisible man)
(You can't see me)

I can see your eyes glaze over me.
I can see your thoughts go beyond me.
What I know, what I feel doesn't exist to you.

So you want to brag all about the one?
That's okay. I can understand how it's fun.
But you know and I know that I'm fading so fast.

(You can't see me)
(I'm the invisible man)

I am driving in my car alone.
No monitors to bother me away from home.
What I see and believe once was limited.

I surround myself with music and lights.
Spark a cigarette and with delight,
I lose my way here in the spotlight.

I'm not here. I'm not here.
There is only peace now.

Chorus:
I'm the invisible man
and I've got a wicked plan.
You think that I'm not here
but not in your dreams I am.
I have lots of ideas as well as some fears.
I was once a simple man,
not quite the one that I am.

Chorus:
I'm the invisible man.
I wish that you could take my hand.
I can see things you don't.
I can hear things you won't.
I am near and I am far.
I'm with you when you forget who you are.

(You can't see me)
(I'm the invisible man)
Track Name: Sisters
You,
your soulful eyes
expose your bare thoughts to the world.
There
in your life
is happiness untold to me.
I swear
on my grave
that I will do all I can
to give
you my love
as the person that I am.

You
in your beautiful dress
watching television shows.
World
of pink and violet
misunderstandings come and go.
I try
to realize
that I'm not alone.
I
can't understand
the ways of rules at home.

You know
how hard I try
to fathom what it must be like.
I'm here,
but am I here
thinking things of wrong and right?
I'm grateful
for the loving
but can I make things better?
Feeling
so abstract
in this different setting.

I love you
I need you
I listen
and comprehend.
I've tried to
fit among you
but sometimes it feels so cold.

(feels so cold) ad infinitum
Track Name: You're Wrong [2002 Memory Recall Mix]
When I felt your arms around me,
a chill went down my spine.
I hoped so much you wouldn't stay here with me.
Leave the past far behind.

Yet you manipulate and complicate
every facet of my life.
I cannot comprehend these feelings you send
that glimmer like a sharpened knife.

Chorus:
Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.

When I heard your words surround me,
I wanted to believe you.
You twist my words and reasons for
your own peace of mind.
You only hear what you want to

You must be as dense as a cold brick wall.
I just can't get away from you.

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?

There is a place I know so well,
a darkened corner no one knows.
Light my incense and crawl into bed.
Most days that's how it goes.

I can't sleep. I can't eat.
You are stuck inside my mind.
The phone rings. My brain sings.
Why can't I just be blind?

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?

Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.
Track Name: Sisters [2003 ''I Wish I Were Todd Terry'' Mix]
You,
your soulful eyes
expose your bare thoughts to the world.
There
in your life
is happiness untold to me.
I swear
on my grave
that I will do all I can
to give
you my love
as the person that I am.

(You know...)

You
in your beautiful dress
watching television shows.
World
of pink and violet,
misunderstandings come and go.
I try
to realize
that I'm not alone.
I
can't understand
the ways of rules at home.

You know
how hard I try
to fathom what it must be like.
I'm here,
but am I here
thinking things of wrong and right?
I'm grateful
for the loving
but can I make things better?
Feeling
so abstract
in this different setting.

I love you
I need you
I listen
and comprehend.
I've tried to
fit among you
but sometimes it feels so cold.

(feels so cold) ad infinitum
Track Name: Home [12" House Diversion]
You know you can never go home.

Mommy, what's that man going to do?
Track Name: You're Wrong [Alternate Dark Discoteque]
When I felt your arms around me,
a chill went down my spine.
I hoped so much you wouldn't stay here with me.
Leave the past far behind.

Yet you manipulate and complicate
every facet of my life.
I cannot comprehend these feelings you send
that glimmer like a sharpened knife.

Chorus:
Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.


When I heard your words surround me,
I wanted to believe you.
You twist my words and reasons for
your own peace of mind.
You only hear what you want to

You must be as dense as a cold brick wall.
I just can't get away from you.

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?


There is a place I know so well,
a darkened corner no one knows.
Light my incense and crawl into bed.
Most days that's how it goes.

I can't sleep. I can't eat.
You are stuck inside my mind.
The phone rings. My brain sings.
Why can't I just be blind?

Chorus:
Can't you comprehend these words?
The gaze I give you from these eyes?
I just want to stay away from you.
Can't you see that you are wrong?

Don't you understand these words?
The harsh look from these eyes?
You thought you knew
just what to do.
Face reality; you're wrong.

(You're wrong) ad infinitum
Track Name: Sisters [Full-Length Drum & Bass Remix]
You,
your soulful eyes
expose your bare thoughts to the world.
There
in your life
is happiness untold to me.
I swear
on my grave
that I will do all I can
to give
you my love
as the person that I am.

You
in your beautiful dress
watching television shows.
World
of pink and violet
misunderstandings come and go.
I try
to realize
that I'm not alone.
I
can't understand
the ways of rules at home.

You know
how hard I try
to fathom what it must be like.
I'm here,
but am I here
thinking things of wrong and right?
I'm grateful
for the loving
but can I make things better?
Feeling
so abstract
in this different setting.

I love you
I need you
I listen
and comprehend.
I've tried to
fit among you
but sometimes it feels so cold.

(feels so cold) ad infinitum